In “Coming Home Again” Chang-Rae describes the relationship he has with his mother. He was her only son and her first born; so naturally, he held a very special place in her heart, only he could fill. It was only fitting for him to come home when his mother needed him the most. She had grown very ill, fighting her battle with cancer. She was in her final stages of life when Chang-Rae discovered some truths about his mothers’ regrets and emotions she had been hiding for years.
Chang-Rae had decided to move into his family’s home once again after years of being away. At fifteen his parents sent him to boarding school which he says “was part of his mothers plan to change his character” Before he was sent away to school, he and his mother were not getting along. He was a teenager who had become “dismissive and bitter” towards his mother, finding her ignorant at times. They had slowly grown apart while he was away at school, and even before he had left their relationship had changed. After coming home to be with his mother at the end, he realized how much she regretted sending him away. She said, “I make big mistake. You should be with us for that time. I should never let you go there” and he asked her why, and she replied, “Because I didn’t know I was going to die.”
His mother obviously felt guilty about her decision to send him away as a teenager. She felt as though she had missed years of her sons’ life that she will never get back. The years she lost with her son only became more important and more painful to think about as her illness progressed. Her son knew this and tried to comfort her but knew that she would hold that regret until she was gone.
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Hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteThe point you’re making about his mother’s regret is an important one. How do you think the narrator feels about his mother’s regret? Do you think it changes the way he views his time at Exeter?
Lauren :)
I too also agree that she made a mistake of sending him away. I believe they could have worked out their differences in there home life. If she would have recognized his interested in the kitchen then I feel they could have had a connection that would have enhanced their relationship. All teenagers go through a tough time in their life getting along with their parents. Sending them away is no cure. Its too bad that the mother died of cancer. She obviosly felt bad about the situation and was dying to make it better with her son. It was just too late.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said. But I feel if she really thought that her son would start hating her that she would of stayed closer to him to work things out, rather than sending him away.
ReplyDeletehey
ReplyDeleteI also agree with you it is always bad to send a child away because it is the best time of both of their lifes because they are learning from each other and it is the time where kids like to take in things that parents tell them and to learn new things from their parents. So i bet she did feel guilt when she passed because she probably thought that with the time that he was away they could of spent it together.